General Rules of the Shaw Bros. Universe

The wuxia hero's best friend is also his most dangerous and formidable enemy. Trust no one! What a world!!!

Inspired by Tangowind's "ridiculous moments" thread

Thanks for giving me some sort of credit, Centorpedo :) This thread is awesome, though I must watch a few more Shaw movies to come up with based-on-my-observation rules. And I vaguely remember to have read a similar English joke sometime ago, also about so-called general rules in old-school kungfu's :)

OK, does this one count as a rule?
There must be some heavy fog effect in every Chor Yuen's wuxia/swordplay film...

When a lone mystery stranger walks into an inn full of tough looking, heavily armed, rowdy, and unruly men indulging in wine, women, and song, you could hear a pin drop when the stranger heads for an empty table, sits down, places sword on table, and removes hat/sun shade.

[bubbabgone]

If you have the misfortune to have a sword blade broken off in your body you can line up the shot and smack the broken sword blade so hard you'll have a through-and-through injury on you but the villain will get hit and die in seconds.
Chopsticks are like steel projectiles in the hands of the right person.

- when there's some rivalry/war in the martial world, don't drink anything - it's almost always poison.

[KyFi]

When you are ambushed in the tea house by hatchet-wielding thugs, and one of them hits you in the abdomen with the hatchet, said hatchet will stay firmly planted there no matter how vigorously you're fighting and moving after that. The upside of this, however, is that you'll have easy access to that hatchet to use it against your opponents (preferably the boss) a bit later on.

any supernatural element in Chu Yuan's wuxia films may get you for a minute (e.g. people being shrinked into puppet size), but they always have a plausible nonsupernatural explanation

Movies must end with a freeze frame of either the hero or villian in mid-Hong Kong roll-out.:rollin


Trailers must be perfect 5 min abridged versions of the story, incuding the final finishing blow!:(

When the wuxia hero drinks wine, he/she drinks it by the jar. The hero downs the entire contents of the jar with the wine running down OUTSIDE of both sides of jaw, down the neck, and down the front torso, completely drenching the clothes.

[Barsader]

No matter how large the group of people fighting,and regardless of their skill,all it takes is one person to yell
"hold it!" and then everybody will stop fighting and listen very intently to the person who yelled.

when a hero wants revenge and practises for for a few years.
said hero is then skilled enough to take on end boss.But the end boss never seems to get better.hat was the boss doing for the last few years?obviously not practising his Kung fu.