General Rules of the Shaw Bros. Universe

Inspired by Tangowind's "ridiculous moments" thread, and as a way for us to convalesce from the difficult psychological questions posed by the "what's up with Shawscopedotcom thread," I thought it'd be fun if we set up a brainstorm session to come up with a list of "rules and general laws of the Shaw universe." This applies to the behavior of characters, laws of physics, and general things that we take for granted will happen in Shaw movies.

Rules such as:
1.) "women who disguise themselves as men will immediately be mistaken for men, no matter how much they still resemble women"
2.) "jumping will always be of a backwards and up nature."
3.) "Death by abdominal stabbing in fringe characters occurs in three distinct phases: character clutches pierced abdomen, character makes constipated face, character flops at apex of overacting parabola."

etc.

I'm wondering if with a little effort we might be able to reach a hundred rules. Your incentive? Well, if we do a really good job, this post might be featured on Shawscope.com one day. And that site gets, like, a gajillion hits, and lots of funding, and the guy that runs it pays you if he uses your writing. :p