Posts Under ‘Movies’ Category

Three Kung-Fu Movies To Look Forward To In 2018

Ip ManHappy new year, my fellow martial artists! 2017 was, admittedly, relatively uneventful – we didn’t really get all that many memorable kung-fu flicks, in either Hollywood or the East. Oh, sure, there were some really decent ones, like “Paradox” (also known as “Chinese Taken”), but none that I personally feel were worth talking about. Thankfully, from what I’m seeing, 2018 seems like it’s going to more than make up for its lackluster little sister by providing us with a whole bunch of REALLY cool kung-fu movies, from sequels to beloved franchises to brand new Eastern productions that look absolutely stunning!

First, and for me, foremost, is “Ip Man 4”. Donnie Yen’s semi-biographical series centered on Bruce Lee’s master, has been a huge inspiration for me and for many other kung-fu fanatics, and continues to be universally beloved and recognized to this day. Unfortunately, after the third installment came out in 2015, Donnie Yen announced that he was done with the role and was willing to let the series go. Fans were distraught, but luckily for us, Yen himself announced that he and director Wilson Yip will be back for a fourth part, set to come out this year! And if that wasn’t enough, Max Zhang from “Ip Man 3” is getting his own spinoff movie as well in 2018! Is this officially the start of the Ip Man Cinematic Universe? One can only hope!

Next on the list is another sequel to a VERY beloved franchise, this time coming from Hollywood – “Shanghai Dawn” is the third movie in the one and only Jackie Chan’s “Shanghai” trilogy, which started with “Shanghai Noon” and continued with the excellent “Shanghai Knights”. The movie entered development back in 2015, when all principle cast members from the previous two films were announced as returning. The director will be Jared Hess, most known for the 2004 hit “Napoleon Dynamite”. While most of his movies haven’t really caught on like “Dynamite” did, Hess has a knack for writing quirky, memorable characters, and I have no doubt that “Shanghai Dawn” will be among his very best work! Who knows, with a little bit of luck it might even surpass the popularity of “Napoleon Dynamite”!

Now, there’s a TON of original movies that are going to be coming out this year, most of which will, naturally, be from China. Some look fun, others are fairly standard for the genre, but there’s one that absolutely caught my eye and I can’t wait to see – Xu Haofeng’s “The Hidden Sword”. Now, technically this flick came out last year in China, but it’ll be released globally in 2018, which is why I’m counting it. And besides, it’s a martial arts movie centered around sword fighting, with some downright beautiful choreography and cinematography… Not to mention, it’s set in the 1930s, which is a very unique era for these types of movies. Needless to say, I can’t wait to see it, and so should you!

Top 3 Funniest Kung-Fu Movies Ever

KungpowWhen we put on a kung-fu movie to watch, we don’t exactly want to be amused. Unless it’s a movie that only barely has anything to do with kung-fu as we know it, like “Shaolin Soccer”, we kind of mostly expect a movie to deliver a very basic plot, flat characters, a clear-cut struggle of good vs evil (both of which can be easily and quickly identified) and some absolutely spectacular fight scenes. Think “Enter the Dragon” or “Kill Bill Vol. 1” – those films are basically the definition of what a kung-fu movie is supposed to be. But, like any other genre, kung-fu cinema has given us a whole lot of variety, and a good chunk of movies are downright hilarious, for one reason or another! In this article I’ll try to showcase three movies, each of which is a different kind of funny. I promise you, though – they’re all hilarious!

1. City Hunter

Let’s get the obvious choice out of the way, shall we? Jackie Chan is THE person we associate with kung-fu comedy, period. He’s the Robin Williams of action comedy, no one else has managed to even come close to what he’s doing, so of course a movie of his was going to be on the list! It was difficult to pick just one – the obvious answer, of course, was “Rush Hour”, but that seemed a bit too easy. “The Tuxedo”, “Supercop”, “Drunken Master” and more are all worthy choices, but honestly, I’m going to have to go with the 1993 flick “City Hunter”, because it’s goofy, ridiculous and I absolutely adore it. You wanna know just how ridiculous it is? Take a look at this scene in which a bunch of “Street Fighter II” characters fight it out after Jackie Chan’s character Ryu gets electrocuted by an arcade machine. It’s that kind of movie, folks, and it’s wonderful.

2. Ten Brothers of Shaolin

On its own, in its original form, “Ten Brothers of Shaolin” is nothing special. Honestly, when I first watched it subtitled, I found it to be rather boring. The fight scenes are very obviously fake, the storyline is dull and predictable, the characters are basically cardboard, there’s just nothing there that makes me want to go back to this movie, ever. It’s not bad, exactly, there’s nothing inherently wrong or offensive about it, it’s just kind of boring, at least in my opinion. And then I watched the dubbed version… And boy oh boy, did my opinion change entirely! You see, back in the 70s and 80s, it was extremely cheap to import kung-fu movies to the West, give them the cheapest, fastest dub you could and then release them, and “Ten Brothers” is by far the worst offender. I mean, listen to this! LISTEN TO IT! It’s hilarious!

2. Kung-Pow: Enter The Fist

I debated with myself a lot whether I was supposed to go with “Kung-Pow” or “Kung-Fury” for this one, but ultimately “Kung-Pow” won out simply by virtue of being funnier. You know how I just mentioned that we got a whoooole lot of terribly dubbed kung-fu movies 40 years ago? Well, “Kung-Pow” is basically the exact same thing, except the dub is deliberately bad, and it’s amazing! This movie is basically the result of a bunch of localizers taking a terrible movie and just basically improvising their way through the dialogue before recording the results. It’s glorious, it’s fantastic, it’s going to split your sides. If you’re not convinced, check it the famous Wimp Lo scene, which is one of my favorite from the film. While the movie, for whatever reason, has something like 11% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes, I think that it’s mostly because critics expected a straight-up kung-fu movie and got what is essentially a stealth parody. The user score is much higher, so just trust me and go check it out!

Best Blackjack Movies

blackjack movieIn the past, I’ve written several posts right here on this very blog about stuff like the best casino-themed movies and other similar topics. As you probably know by now, I’m a pretty big gambler with a huge passion for online casinos, and ever since I started this blog I’ve found that while my love for kung-fu movies is still there, my interest in gambling has increased dramatically, which is why you see so many of these articles popping up recently. Honestly, I was fairly certain that I’d lose the audience I’d gained over the months (all three of you), but surprisingly, judging by your messages, you guys seem to be digging the new direction of the blog, which works out for me quite well! And yes, of course there’s going to be articles themed around kung-fu movies in the future, that goes without saying! But for now, let’s take a look at something that I’ve wanted to talk about for a while, namely – blackjack movies!

Now, keep in mind that there aren’t really all that many blackjack movies around, and thus just because I say that they’re the “best blackjack movies” that doesn’t mean that they’re actually great. Still, I don’t think that any of them are bad, but who knows, you might enjoy them! All that I’ll ask of you going in is that you don’t expect them to be realistic. Those movies mostly tend to focus on the spectacle of card counting and what not, so if you’re looking for a scene where one of the characters is scrolling through this top 10 list of the best blackjack sites in the UK then you’re gonna be disappointed! With that said, let’s get started!

Rain Man (1988) – I have a very complicated love-hate relationship with this movie, though that has nothing to do with its quality. It mostly has to do with the portrayal of autistic people, which is… Well, how should I say it… Inaccurate. On one hand, the fact that Dustin Hoffman’s character Raymond is explicitly stated to have autism brought a whole lot of attention to the condition, which is one of the reasons why diagnoses of it increased (no, it’s not because vaccines cause autism, it’s just that psychiatrists are now way better at diagnosing it than they were in the past). But on the other, for the longest time everyone thought that Rain Man was the archetypal autistic person, and that everyone with autism can count cards at a casino and be a blackjack prodigy when obviously that’s simply not true. Ah well, I can’t hold it against the movie too much, especially considering the fact that it came out almost 30 years ago. Its message still rings quite clear, after all – accept your friends and family for who they are without judging them for their quirks and oddities.

21 (2008) – In many ways, this is the ultimate blackjack movie. Remember how I told you about unrealistic card counting movies focusing on spectacle? Well, that definition applies to “21” better than to any other movie on this list! And the kicker is that it’s actually based on the true story of Jeff Ma, an MIT student who broke numerous blackjack tables alongside his fellow MIT friends with his awesome card counting skills. And sure, many of the events depicted in “21” are heavily exaggerated in order to make for a more entertaining narrative, but who cares, it’s one hell of a ride from beginning to end, especially if you, like me, are a fan of blackjack!

The Gambler (2014) – This is one of those extremely rare casino movies that doesn’t use casino as a metaphor for the decadence of the human soul or whatever, nor does it portray it as a rocking place of high-life and good-looking women. Instead, “The Gambler” deals with a problem that millions of people worldwide also need to deal with – gambling addiction. Its main character, played by Mark Wahlberg, often spends whatever little cash he has playing blackjack. The negativity in his life doesn’t inherently come from casino itself – it comes from his persistence to feed his addiction, which range from dealing with loan sharks to taking money from his mother only to spend them on gambling. And sure, the movie isn’t exactly great (it only had a score of 55 on Metacritic), but my God, it’s one of the most human representations of gambling I’ve ever seen in a movie, and for that alone it’s worth being on this list!

Why You Should Care About Movie-Based Slots

casinoAlright, folks, I have a confession to make, and it’s a doozy – I do other things besides watch movies all day. Shocking, I know, but please don’t lynch me! Aside from the standard stuff that literally everyone and their mother does, such as going to work, preparing food, going to work and all that, I also like to play a whole lot of videogames. I read quite a lot of books (I set myself a goal of 50 books read per year, and surpass it every time), and have even dabbled into creative writing a couple of times, in case it didn’t seem obvious. Well, there’s another activity I really enjoy, and while to a lot of people it may not seem like much, it’s my own guilty pleasure AND a source of income. I’m talking, of course, about online gambling, which is—YOU SIT BACK DOWN!

Online gambling has this really, really undeserved stigma attached to it, with a lot of people mistaking what it is with what it potentially could be. “Oh, it’s fake, it doesn’t give you any money, it’s rigged in its favor”, blab la bla. Well, not really. I mean, of course it’s rigged in its favor, but then again, so is literally every other casino game ever, online or not – that’s how casinos make profit. It doesn’t mean that you can’t either, though. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, but the point is to make sure your wins outweigh your losses, right? And trust me, there’s puh-lenty of organizations looking into casinos to make damn sure that they’re not fake.

Still, it’s hard to convince people of that, especially those living with the old misconceptions about slots, bearing the relatively inappropriate nickname “One-Armed Bandits”. Sure, while slots used to be cheating, simplistic scumbags 50 years ago, today’s slots are actually pretty great. Did you know that a whole lot of your favorite movies and TV shows have slots based on them? The rights owners wouldn’t just give permission to anyone – imagine a bad, cheating slot based on, say, “Inception” was discovered, and it got embroiled in a conflict and a lawsuit. That would sully the name of the movie, and would make the brand less popular because of the stigma. Does that make sense?

Sadly, there is no slot based on “Inception”, but there’s a whole lot of others, instead. “Basic Instinct”, “Bridesmaids”, “Scarface”, “Forrest Gump”, even “The Wizard of Oz” have all received adaptations in the form of slot machines, where not only the symbols are adorned with the faces of the characters, but the bonus games are based on scenes in the movie. For example, the bonus round in “King Kong” involves you taking down airplanes from the sky, with each plane granting you a bonus to your winnings. Similarly, “Gladiator” has a ‘gamble’ feature which is meant to represent the fate of gladiators as decided by the Emperor. Whenever you win, you have a 50/50 chances of doubling your winnings or losing them all.

Some slots have gone even further into being meta. You know how the Marvel Cinematic Universe is this gigantic, shared world inhabited by dozens of characters? Well, the Marvel Slot Universe is also a thing – roughly a dozen slots not only based on the MCU properties, but also on previous movies such as “Blade” and “Daredevil” (which is an underrated classic and I don’t care if you think otherwise). And the best part is that all of those slots share a common jackpot. A progressive jackpot is generally accumulated from a percentage of all money bet on the slot, and in this case, the jackpot is gathered from money bet on ALL Marvel slots, and subsequently can be won by playing any of them. It’s a great system, truly!

All I can tell you is this – don’t believe the stigma attached to slots, because it’s simply not true. Tell you what – why don’t you try some slots on your own in your spare time? You can try the overwhelming majority of slots for absolutely free, in what is called practice mode, and most of the time it doesn’t even require a registration. Go on Google, play some slots and see if they’re going to be your thing! If so, have at it! And who knows, maybe I’ll write some more articles about slots in the future, perhaps looking into individual movie-based slots. We’ll see!

“Game Of Death” – The Best Kung-Fu Movie You’ve Never Seen

karateWe all know Bruce Lee – he’s by far the single most influential martial arts actor of all time despite completing only a handful of movies. More modern actors, such as Jackie Chan and Jet Li, cite him as a major influence (which is quite obvious in their performances), and his untimely death in 1973 spurred a tidal wave of imitators – literally. Movies starring Bruce Li, Bryce Lee, Bruuce Lee and other actors using any variation of his name swept the market, none of which were any good. Still, the public consumed them without question – that’s how starved for Bruce Lee they all were! Hmm, if only there was a movie Bruce Lee himself started, but never finished… If only that movie contained some of his best fight scenes ever, which could be padded with awkward editing to pretend that Bruce Lee is in it… Oh wait!

Enter “Game of Death”, which is both the best and worst Bruce Lee movie, depending on how you look at it. As I stated earlier, Bruce Lee really wanted to write, direct, produce and star in this movie, but had to postpone in it order to do “Enter the Dragon”, the movie that made him famous worldwide. His tragic death happened not long afterwards, so he sadly never got the chance to bring his greatest, most ambitious project to life. Enter director Robert Clouse, who decided to use stock footage and body doubles in order to complete the footage that Lee had already shot. The result is… Well, a mixed bag, but I’m getting to that.

The first half of the movie (well, a bit more than half, but whatever) is an absolute disgrace. And I’m not saying that it’s bad in the way that “The Room” is bad, in which you can see that there’s effort, but no skill. No, this is just insulting. The plot makes no sense – “Bruce Lee” (I’m placing quotation marks around his name because it’s not really Lee for the majority of the film) plays an actor who’s the best martial artist around. Hilarious(ly insulting) measures have been taken to convince the audience that this is really Lee, such as superimposing his face over another actor’s. It’s pathetic. Anyway, some sort of criminal syndicate consisting of the other best martial artists tries to convince him to join them, but he refuses. As a result, they try to assassinate him by shooting him in the face, conveniently explaining why the actor in the latter half looks different from the one in the former half.

As a result of the assassination attempt, the actor decides to fake his death. And just to make sure that Lee is properly rolling around in his grave, they show actual footage of his funeral, including shots of him in his dead body in his coffin. It’s absolutely disgusting. Thankfully, that’s about where the movie starts to get really good. The syndicate finds out the actor is alive, so they kidnap his fiancée and take her to a… restaurant or something? I don’t know, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that they have all their people there, each proficient in a different fighting style, and each placed on a different floor.

In case you decided to skip the above paragraphs in order to ignore the stupid, allow me to reiterate – Bruce Lee fights a different martial artist on each floor of a building, and it is GLORIOUS! This is the part where the pre-recorded footage comes into play, and it’s by far the single best half hour you can POSSIBLY have if you want to have a good time with a kung-fu movie! It is AMAZING, especially in contrast with the crap that was fed to us earlier. You really have to see it to believe it. Lee not only perfects the classic formula – he surpasses it. For example, he fights a character played by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, the basketball player. Why is that notable, you ask? Well, because he’s over 7 feet tall, that’s why! It’s brilliant!

Well, I guess you could just try to find all the fight scenes on YouTube or something, but where’s the fun in that? “Game of Death”, for better or for worse, comes in a complete package. So if you want to have a night of “so bad it’s good” followed immediately by “so good it’s good”, there’s literally nothing else you can get to fare better! Despite its numerous shortcomings, the good parts of “Game of Death” are so good that they singlehandedly make it one of the best kung-fu movies ever made!

Welcome to Kung-Fu Cinema

ninja“We’re all movie lovers here. I love movies. You love movies”
“How do you know I love movies?” said the reader.
“You must be,” said the writer, “or you wouldn’t have come here.”

Hello, my dear reader, and welcome to the movie Wonderland, also known as Kung-Fu Cinema! Don’t let the title deceive you – we’re not just going to be talking about kung-fu movies! While they’re a bit of a passion for me, in all honesty, I primarily picked the name because it sounded pretty badass. I mean, come on, the sheer fact that you’re here reading this right now means that it worked! After all, if you had the choice between clicking on a site that says “Kung-Fu Cinema” and one that said “A Twenty-Something Year Old Talking about Movies And Stuff”, you most likely would’ve clicked the former (or the latter out of morbid curiosity, but not of actual desire to see what I had to say). So, since the domain “Kung-Fu Cinema” was available, catchy and relevant, I decided to go with that. Don’t lie, you would’ve done the exact same thing!

So… Let’s talk a bit about what you care about, namely, movies! On this site I’m going to be posting reviews and news, just like any other movie site, but that’s not going to be the main focus of it. I didn’t create a site slash blog slash thoughts storage unit just to be like everyone else. No, what I’m going to be focusing on the most in the following weeks, months and hopefully years is going to be the so-called Showcases. In Showcases, I’m going to be – you guessed it – showcasing a different movie, or genre, or something of the sort. It could be an obscure kung-fu movie of the 70s, or it could be a very popular movie that I wish to examine in a closer light. It could be anything related to movies, really! When I put it like that, I retain the right to do whatever I like with the column, and you retain the right to be surprised! See, it all worked out just fine!

So, to recap – hi, my name is Admin of Kung-Fu Cinema and I love movies! I shall be writing random, yet still movie-centered articles for a while now, so please make sure to bookmark my site/blog/thingamajing and keep checking it often, because you never know when something is going to pop up into that magnificent, beautiful mind of mine! For now, I bid you adieu, but worry not – you’ll see me again very soon… if you haven’t already seen me! Remember – the best is always yet to come, especially in an ever-changing medium such as movies!